Congratulations to Miss Virgina who won the 2010 Miss American competition over the weekend. Miss Missouri didn't fare too well. Although her talent portion was impression -- she built a meth lab in under 60 seconds.
I finally had a chance to watch the Jay Leno/Oprah interview from last Thursday.... It was pretty boring, except of course for the part where Oprah announced that when she retires in 2011 she's giving her show to Conan O'Brien and then taking it back.
A single-engine aircraft made an emergency landing on the New Jersey Turnpike this morning. ANd when reached for comment, Capt Sully Sullenberger said: BORRING.
Beyonce won six Grammy Awards last night. Unfortunately, when Beyonce won for best female vocal, her acceptance speech was interrupted by Kanye West who said Taylor Swift deserved to win.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
A man who had been adrift at sea for several weeks was recently rescued by the British Navy and brought back to England. Oddly enough, he says he ate better while he was stranded at sea.
Authorities say two men are on a cross country crime spree after escaping from a Kentucky prison. Police say you should lock up your car, your house, and your sheep.
-But, thankfully the Kentucky police are trying to get the men to come back to prison by offering them conjugal visits with their sisters.
A new study says that women praying increases their chances of getting pregnant. Thankfully, the same study says men praying cancels it out.
And another study says that people in New York have gotten more polite. In fact, now they have a nice day after they give you the finger.
In Jerusalem, archaeologists have uncovered an 8,000 year old house. The discovery included ancient tools, and clothes -- they even found the mailbox that said Outdoors Ned written on it.
Authorities say two men are on a cross country crime spree after escaping from a Kentucky prison. Police say you should lock up your car, your house, and your sheep.
-But, thankfully the Kentucky police are trying to get the men to come back to prison by offering them conjugal visits with their sisters.
A new study says that women praying increases their chances of getting pregnant. Thankfully, the same study says men praying cancels it out.
And another study says that people in New York have gotten more polite. In fact, now they have a nice day after they give you the finger.
In Jerusalem, archaeologists have uncovered an 8,000 year old house. The discovery included ancient tools, and clothes -- they even found the mailbox that said Outdoors Ned written on it.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Police arrested a man after he got into an argument with his wife, and called the police on her -- only to have the police show up and discover that his house was a giant meth lab. Nice goin Ned.
Some WalMart stores are trying to market to more upscale customers in some parts of the country. For example, in some stores you can find wine that sells for 500 dollars. Man, that must be one really fancy box.
David Hassellhoff has announced he's leaving Americas Got talent...and ah who cares?
A man who stole 3 million dollars worth of rare maps was recently sent to prison for 3 years. Three years, that ought to give him just enough time to figure out how to fold all of the maps back correctly.
The government reports 788 cases of lost data in the last decade. In fact, the only data the govt can keep track of is how much data has been lost.
Some WalMart stores are trying to market to more upscale customers in some parts of the country. For example, in some stores you can find wine that sells for 500 dollars. Man, that must be one really fancy box.
David Hassellhoff has announced he's leaving Americas Got talent...and ah who cares?
A man who stole 3 million dollars worth of rare maps was recently sent to prison for 3 years. Three years, that ought to give him just enough time to figure out how to fold all of the maps back correctly.
The government reports 788 cases of lost data in the last decade. In fact, the only data the govt can keep track of is how much data has been lost.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
A new book out by Osama Bin Laden's children says that Bin Laden routinely beat his kids, killed their pets with poisoness gas, and asked his kids to go on suicide missions. Boy, I just hope this book doesn't tarnish his squeaky clean image.
Well, it's possible we could hit temperatures this week that we haven't had in Saint Louis in over 10 years.... in fact, it's so cold in Saint Louis, Larry Conners is wearing his hairpiece again.
Well, get ready for the snow tonight -- when asked how much, the weather men say we will have 6 inches -- although, you know how that goes -- it's actually more like 4.
Researchers say that contrary to myth, Chinese men don't have the smallest manhood. In fact, it's the Fillipinos who are the smallest. The biggest are the Italians, followed by the Americans. Actually, the U.S should have been number one, but Joe Hipperson threw off our average.
Police arrested a man after he got into an argument with his wife, and called the police on her -- only to have the police show up and discover that his house was a giant meth lab. Nice goin Ned.
Some WalMart stores are trying to market to more upscale customers in some parts of the country. For example, in some stores you can find wine that sells for 500 dollars. Man, that must be one really fancy box.
The tabloids are saying that before she died actress Brittany Murphy's weight had gotten down to around 85 pounds..... or as Nicole Richie called her: "A big fat tub of lard"
Well, it's possible we could hit temperatures this week that we haven't had in Saint Louis in over 10 years.... in fact, it's so cold in Saint Louis, Larry Conners is wearing his hairpiece again.
Well, get ready for the snow tonight -- when asked how much, the weather men say we will have 6 inches -- although, you know how that goes -- it's actually more like 4.
Researchers say that contrary to myth, Chinese men don't have the smallest manhood. In fact, it's the Fillipinos who are the smallest. The biggest are the Italians, followed by the Americans. Actually, the U.S should have been number one, but Joe Hipperson threw off our average.
Police arrested a man after he got into an argument with his wife, and called the police on her -- only to have the police show up and discover that his house was a giant meth lab. Nice goin Ned.
Some WalMart stores are trying to market to more upscale customers in some parts of the country. For example, in some stores you can find wine that sells for 500 dollars. Man, that must be one really fancy box.
The tabloids are saying that before she died actress Brittany Murphy's weight had gotten down to around 85 pounds..... or as Nicole Richie called her: "A big fat tub of lard"
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Celebrity news -- Sinbad apparently owes over 8 million dollars in back taxes. To which most people said, "who the hell is Sinbad?"
Elizabeth Hasselbeck from The View has been taking heat for asking a guy on the air about his wife, not knowing that his wife was dead. Hasselbeck said this is the most embarassing thing that's happened to her since she had to admit to her family that she works with Joy Behar.
Archeologists say they've unearthed what appears to be a home that dates all the way back to the time of Jesus. Experts say the home was most likely a rental property owned by Outdoors Ned.
And everyone's excited about the big New Years celebration next week.... should be a fun evening in Times Square. All over the country, people will gather around their TVs to watch the ball drop... Which is odd, I didnt even know the Rams were playing New Years Eve.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
And Tiger Woods was named Athelete of The Decade.... well, I guess that makes sense - he certainly scored a lot.
And it came out today that Glorida Allred will represent 2 of the Tiger Woods mistresses -- well, i guess if there's anyone qualified to represent sleezy women only out to get attention, it might as well be her.
The Rams canceled practice today after it was confirmed that some players on the team have come down with the Swine Flu... Wow, can you believe that? I mean, who knew the Rams practiced?
Thursday, December 10, 2009
A letter written by Thomas Jefferson in 1808 has been discovered at the University of Delaware. It was a letter, thanking Ned for his campaign contribution in 1804.
Well President Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize today... and ah who cares?
Well President Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize today... and ah who cares?
Things are out of control today -- first Obama gets the Nobel Peace Prize.. and just moments ago, the NFL gave the Superbowl trophy to the Rams.
Dick Cheney gave an interview this week where he said the President is seen by other countries as weak. And, then he had a heart attack.
Dick Cheney gave an interview this week where he said the President is seen by other countries as weak. And, then he had a heart attack.
A new study says that text messages now outnumber phone calls, 3 to 1. Wow. And that's just the texts that were sent to Tiger Wood's mistresses.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
A Psychologist from Virginia, says he can tell if you'll get divorced based on the type of job you have. For example, he says if you want your marriage to last, marry a veterinarian, a teacher or a dentists.. He says the jobs with the highest chance of divorce: dancers, bartenders, massage therapists, and nurses.
-And, Especially pro golfers who have affairs with dancers, bartenders, massage therapists and nurses.
- The good news is -- computer nerds have only a .1 percent chance of getting divorced -- but, that's only because they have .1 percent chance of getting married.
We have a man who has been arrested after someone found his lost cell phone and saw videos he had taken of himself while letting his dog lick his private parts. Good grief, Hipperson get some help.
Well, don't forget you have about another week or so to get your cards and packages mailed if you want to make sure the Postal services loses them by Christmas.
A new study from the good folks at Purina found that house cats spend about 22 percent of their days looking out windows, 12 percent playing with other pets, 8 percent climbing on chairs and just 6 percent sleeping.. No, I'm sorry that's Outdoors Ned.
-And, Especially pro golfers who have affairs with dancers, bartenders, massage therapists and nurses.
- The good news is -- computer nerds have only a .1 percent chance of getting divorced -- but, that's only because they have .1 percent chance of getting married.
We have a man who has been arrested after someone found his lost cell phone and saw videos he had taken of himself while letting his dog lick his private parts. Good grief, Hipperson get some help.
Well, don't forget you have about another week or so to get your cards and packages mailed if you want to make sure the Postal services loses them by Christmas.
A new study from the good folks at Purina found that house cats spend about 22 percent of their days looking out windows, 12 percent playing with other pets, 8 percent climbing on chairs and just 6 percent sleeping.. No, I'm sorry that's Outdoors Ned.
Monday, December 7, 2009
President Obama hosted Kennedy Center Honorees Bruce Springsteen, Robert De Niro and Mel Brooks last night. It was such a star-studded event that the reality show couple said they wished they'd crashed this White House party instead.
Well, the NY post is reporting that the magic number is now up to 9.... that would be 9 different mistresses that have come forward to say they've had a fling with Tiger Woods since he's been married. Details are sketchy about mistress number 9, but the post reports -- she's a quote "Sex addicted cougar"..... nice goin Tina.
Rolling Stone guitarist Ronnie Wood has been arrested after allegations that he choked his 20 year old lover. I'm not sure what's more disturbing -- the fact that Ronnie Wood choked her, or the fact that this 20 year old girl is sleeping with a dead guy.
Nicole Kidman says if she ever quits acting, she'll be an interior designer. Huh. That's interesting, I hadn't realized she'd started acting.
Well, the NY post is reporting that the magic number is now up to 9.... that would be 9 different mistresses that have come forward to say they've had a fling with Tiger Woods since he's been married. Details are sketchy about mistress number 9, but the post reports -- she's a quote "Sex addicted cougar"..... nice goin Tina.
Rolling Stone guitarist Ronnie Wood has been arrested after allegations that he choked his 20 year old lover. I'm not sure what's more disturbing -- the fact that Ronnie Wood choked her, or the fact that this 20 year old girl is sleeping with a dead guy.
Nicole Kidman says if she ever quits acting, she'll be an interior designer. Huh. That's interesting, I hadn't realized she'd started acting.
The NBC television network has officially been sold. Comcast Cable Company bought the struggling network last week. Insiders say the deal could be worth as much as $114 dollars.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Barabara Walter's annual ten most interesting people show is coming up next week..... Among the ten is Sarah Palin, Lady Gaga, Michael Jackon's children and singer Adam Lambert. I hear it's a good program, although I guess things got out of hand when Adam tried to french kiss Sam Donaldson.
Yeah, Obama hasn't had a good past couple of months, in fact his approval rating in some polls is down to only 43 percent.. He's losing so many points, people now mistake him for one of the Saint Louis Rams.
Yeah, 43 percent approval rating. Or as President Bush calls it "Lucky bastard".
A report says that the economic downturn is even affecting prostitution.They say that if the economy doesn't pick up soon - men may be forced to have sex with their wives.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Tiger Woods issued an aplogy to his fans. This story is everywhere -- it's even had an effect on Christmas music -- like for example, "The Twelve Days Of Christmas"... had to be modified -- since Tiger Woods had to buy the 5 golden rings for his wife.
The Florida Highway Patrol has cited Tiger Woods for careless driving. Although, they said his putting was just fine.
The Florida Highway Patrol has cited Tiger Woods for careless driving. Although, they said his putting was just fine.
Tonight is the big lighting of the Rockefeller Christmas tree... and ah who cares?
A study says that children who are spanked have lower IQ's. Well, geez -- poor Dan must have really had the crap beat out of him as a kid.
A study says that children who are spanked have lower IQ's. Well, geez -- poor Dan must have really had the crap beat out of him as a kid.
The Los Angeles Clippers have suspended their TV announcers because they made a racist remark about an Iranian player during the TV broadcast. Ya, it's pretty disturbing -- I mean, someone was actually watching a Clippers game?
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
The Jokes
The most popular rumor now is that Tiger Woods was actually attacked by his wife with a golf club. *When reached for comment, Bill Clinton said tell me about it.
Yeah, people still talking about Tiger crashing his car. *When reached for comment Billy Joel said "Tell me about it."
Photos have surfaced of the girl that is alledgedly Tiger's mistress seen on the beach with Ryan Seacrest.
*Seacrest says the photos were photo shopped -- he was actually on the beach with Richard Simmons.
Monday, November 30, 2009
The Jokes
Well, the world is a buzz about Tiger Woods and his alleged car accident over the weekend. And out of habit, President Obama blamed the whole thing on George W Bush.
How bout the couple sneaking into the White House dinner? The whole thing was pretty embarrassing -- And I guess the secret service was told someone was at the White House who didn't belong, and they tasered Hillary Clinton.
The woman who snuck in claimed she was a former cheerleader -- and I guess made up a bunch of stories. To make matters worse -- the couple arrived in their homemade helium balloon.
Oh, and I guess those idiots are back in the news --- Turns out during the Macy's Thanksgiving parade Balloon Boy's dad called CNN and said his son was trapped inside Spider-Man.
The Illinois IRS says it has 3.6 million dollars in undeliverable tax refunds -- 3.6 million dollars is a lot of money -- to give ya an idea, it's almost enough to buy one of their senate seats.
How bout the couple sneaking into the White House dinner? The whole thing was pretty embarrassing -- And I guess the secret service was told someone was at the White House who didn't belong, and they tasered Hillary Clinton.
The woman who snuck in claimed she was a former cheerleader -- and I guess made up a bunch of stories. To make matters worse -- the couple arrived in their homemade helium balloon.
Oh, and I guess those idiots are back in the news --- Turns out during the Macy's Thanksgiving parade Balloon Boy's dad called CNN and said his son was trapped inside Spider-Man.
The Illinois IRS says it has 3.6 million dollars in undeliverable tax refunds -- 3.6 million dollars is a lot of money -- to give ya an idea, it's almost enough to buy one of their senate seats.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Cool Picture
Someone sent this to me... look closely (click on it to blow it up) at the baseball as it hits Albert's bat during a swing. You can see the baseball actually dent in!
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
Happy Monday!
Bill Clinton received an honor over the weekend -- when the people of Kosovo honored the former President with his very own statue. It was a very special moment and the statue was very realistic... so much in fact that the Clinton statue was humping all of the other statues.
Yeah, Bill had to travel overseas because he was being honored with a statue -- or at least that's what he told Hillary.
Hope everyone had a great Halloween... Funny moment, my little cousin was with me watching TV on Saturday night and he asked who the scary looking witch was on TV.... and I had to tell him oh, that's just Nancy Pelosi.
A new study says that bad driving most likely is genetic and comes from your Mom or Dad.... moral of the story, never accept a ride home from Billy Joel's daughter.
Yesterday was the day we turned our clocks back one hour to Standard time. It was also the second time in a week that those Northwest Airlines pilots got an extra hour of sleep.
Yeah, Bill had to travel overseas because he was being honored with a statue -- or at least that's what he told Hillary.
Hope everyone had a great Halloween... Funny moment, my little cousin was with me watching TV on Saturday night and he asked who the scary looking witch was on TV.... and I had to tell him oh, that's just Nancy Pelosi.
A new study says that bad driving most likely is genetic and comes from your Mom or Dad.... moral of the story, never accept a ride home from Billy Joel's daughter.
Yesterday was the day we turned our clocks back one hour to Standard time. It was also the second time in a week that those Northwest Airlines pilots got an extra hour of sleep.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Tune In Sunday Night!
Tune in Sunday night from 8-10 for Bill Clevlen's Trivia Night on KTRS! You can be part of the show by calling 314-969-KTRS or 888-550-KTRS and taking your shot at answering a question. We'll also have other fun ways to win and games to play! Join in the show and make this your new way to wind down the weekend on Sunday nights! You can also listen online: www.ktrs.com
And, here's the official website for the show: www.billstrivianight.com
Monday, October 26, 2009
Well, the Yankees beat the Angels last night, and advance to the World Series against the Phillies. Boy, things are really starting to look bad for the Cardinals.
Hard to believe that Halloween is coming up this weekend.... some people get into Halloween more than others. For example, Dick Cheney gets a kick out of waterboarding the neighborhood kids.
Former President Bush -- he says he'll spend Halloween the way he always does -- hiding eggs in the front lawn.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
Short Showers
Here's a great example of what happens when you let government get too much power. In Venezuela, the government has required its citizens to only shower for 3 minutes. 3 minute showers.
People all over the world were shocked and stunned -- for example, people in France said "Who wastes 3 minutes showering?"
People all over the world were shocked and stunned -- for example, people in France said "Who wastes 3 minutes showering?"
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
The umpires blew a bunch of calls in last night's Yankees - Angels game. It had a real effect on the outcome of the game. If they had better umpires, Instead of being humiliated, the Angels could've been merely trounced.
Yep. Merely trounced or as the Rams call it Sunday.
A new study says that married people in Britain get what they're calling an 11 year itch -- because that's the length of an average marriage before a couple gets divorced. To be fair, the itching starts at 7 years but they use calamine lotion for the last 4.
A man is in trouble for indecent exposure for making coffee naked in front of a window in his kitchen. Nice goin Ned.
Yep. Merely trounced or as the Rams call it Sunday.
A new study says that married people in Britain get what they're calling an 11 year itch -- because that's the length of an average marriage before a couple gets divorced. To be fair, the itching starts at 7 years but they use calamine lotion for the last 4.
A man is in trouble for indecent exposure for making coffee naked in front of a window in his kitchen. Nice goin Ned.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Big News!
Good news to share! Starting November 1st, I begin hosting my very own show each Sunday night on KTRS Radio here in Saint Louis. (And streaming live online at: ktrs.com) It will air Sundays from 8pm-10pm CST.
The show is Bill Clevlen's Trivia Night. An entire show all about trivia! It won't be your average question and answer show. We'll have lots of fun diving into all sorts of topics, and playing lots of fun games where listeners can participate and win prizes.
You can click HERE to hear the first promo for the new show. (It should automatically start playing.)
Keep an eye out here for more information about the show and look for a new website dedicated to this new weekend program!
-Bill
The show is Bill Clevlen's Trivia Night. An entire show all about trivia! It won't be your average question and answer show. We'll have lots of fun diving into all sorts of topics, and playing lots of fun games where listeners can participate and win prizes.
You can click HERE to hear the first promo for the new show. (It should automatically start playing.)
Keep an eye out here for more information about the show and look for a new website dedicated to this new weekend program!
-Bill
The Dumbing Down Of America
Some woman from the Missouri Department of Health stopped by and asked us to post these signs in the restroom. Your tax dollars at work ladies and gentleman.
That's right - we're now supposed to instruct people on how to wash their hands.
Good thing I read the sign, because for years I've been rinsing before I wet.
That's right - we're now supposed to instruct people on how to wash their hands.
Good thing I read the sign, because for years I've been rinsing before I wet.
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